Dash Adventures: New Story Discussion

So we have, what, 4 writers now? Okay then. Not a problem. I found a way it could work. For now, we could post what we each imagine as the first chapter of the new story would look like. Then, we can judge each one, and then the best one is put in the actual story.

I'll begin.

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Space Colony Ark, 30XX

"Curse you, horrid little hedgehog!" Eggman screams, blasting purple rays of darkness at Sonic, whom is running in circles on the ark walls. Amy, Tails and Knuckles are watching closely.
"Fat chance of hitting me, Baldy McNosehair!" Sonic gloats, now running backwards, "I'm the faster than the speed of sound, remember?"
"Sonic, be careful!" Amy shouts, with a hint of worry in her voice, "Oh, I really need to help him. He could get hurt... or worse!" Amy then brings out her hammer, and yells proudly, "I can't let my boyfriend get hurt!" And Amy runs, charging a mighty blow to Eggman's machine.
"Boyfriend?" Knuckles mumbles, "What is she talking about?"
Suddenly, Eggman hears Amy approaching, and grins. He turns around, and shoots Amy instead, completely paralyzing the pink hedgehog girl. Amy screams, then falls to the ground.
"Amy!" Sonic shouts, running to her side. Sonic brings his attention to Eggman. "What did you do to her?!"
"Ho ho ho!" Eggman cackles evilly, "How should I know? My inventions don't work. They never do. But I can determine her fate, you little pest." Eggman then loads a pistol and aims it at her head. "If you and your annoying buddies make a single movement, this girl will be sent where the sun doesn't shine!"
Unfortunately, Sonic knew it could happen. He then, reluctantly, surrenders. "Fine. You win."
Eggman grins wider, his glasses reflecting against the light. "Well then, I am proud to introduce you to my newest friends, Zero and Marx."
Two unknown figures then appear from the doorway. One was a floating eyeball with ared pupil; Zero. The other was a purple mutant with a jester hat and wings; Marx.
"So this is the blue hedgehog you spoke of, Ivo?" Zero says, looking at Sonic, "An interesting creature indeed."
"Ugh, this is boring!" Marx sighs, flying around Zero, "Come on, take over his body already!"
"Stop at once, you hyperactive monkey," Zero commands, floating toward the hero.
Marx stops and giggles. "Oh boy!"
"Hmm," Zero says, examining Sonic, "A tough fossil indeed, Ivo. But it is still possible."
"Go ahead, Zero," Eggman announces, "Initiate 'Operation Z.E.R.O. 3!'!"
Instantly, Zero enters Sonic's body, while Sonic struggles to stay in control. But it was too late.
Zero has taken over.
Immediately, Eggman gives him the Seven Chaos Emeralds he has saved for a while, and Zero transforms into Super Sonic.
"From now on, you will address me as..." Zero pauses, "ZERO 3!" Zero cackles evilly, and bursts toward Mobius at blinding speed. "This is amazingly fast; I will treat this body well. But first, to dispose of the original soul." Zero then reaches inside of Sonic's body, and pulls out a ghost that looks just like the Sonic everyone knew. He then chucks the soul toward a sea of Mobius, and flies toward the other side of the planet. "I will dispose of this planet today; Tomorrow, THE GALAXY! Tricking that old couch potato was too easy."

Interesting indeed. It seems a lot more appealing than it was at first, even after I got my hands on it. But there are a few things I'd like to change. For one thing, I don't feel that Marx is important to the story, and so we don't need him there. If we really NEED a main sidekick, I'd like to go with Metal Sonic, which would then explain the red Metal Sonics that appear later on. And as for your idea of Sonamy, it sounds good, but it seems a little early to be developing the relationship. Here, lemme give it a shot. *Starts writing*

EchidnaPower wrote:For one thing, I don't feel that Marx is important to the story, and so we don't need him there. If we really NEED a main sidekick, I'd like to go with Metal Sonic, which would then explain the red Metal Sonics that appear later on.

It's just a draft. It's not final. So it can be changed.

Alright folks, here's my version of the beginning.
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This story begins on the Death Egg, where Sonic and his friends were once again in a duel to the death. “Stay still you insipid rodent!” Dr. Eggman roared.
“Stay still? You must be kidding Egghead! I’m the fastest thing alive!” Sonic taunted, as he continued to dodge Eggman’s laser blasts. “You tell him Sonic!” Amy cheered.
“Bah, this won’t work. Perhaps it’s time for you to meet my newest invention, Metal Sonic 4.0!”

Eggman pressed a button on his control panel, and the wall opened up, revealing yet another Metal Sonic robot. “Another me-bot Eggman? Looks exactly the same as the others! You must be losing your touch!” Sonic taunted.

Metal Sonic’s eyes glowed red, and in the blink of an eye, it grabbed Sonic and held him tight. “Whoa! What gives?!” Sonic yelled, obviously surprised by the speed of this newest reincarnation of himself.

“Hold on! Let me give that thing a scan!” Tails pulled out a portable scanner, and scanned both hedgehogs. “Oh my gosh…that robot is actually faster than Sonic!”
“No way! No one’s faster than me!” Sonic reached behind him, grabbed the head of Metal Sonic, and judo threw him into the nearby wall, leaving the robot seemingly paralyzed. “Take that you pile of scrap!”

“No!” Eggman cried, “Very well Sonic, try this on for size!” Eggman pressed another button, and a strange fossil appeared and floated in mid-air. "You fighting us with rocks now Eggman?" Sonic snickered.

Eggman merely chortled evilly, as the fossil began glowing in a bright light. The group shielded their eyes from the blinding light, and when it dissipated, a weird eyeball-like creature appeared in front of the group. “What the heck is that?” Amy asked with disgust.

Tails scanned the creature, and was shocked by what he read. “That thing isn’t even real! It’s some sort of weird spirit!”
“You mean it’s a…ghost?!” Amy screamed fearfully. “I don’t care what that thing is! I’ll take it down!” Sonic charged ahead with a spin dash, but when he made contact, the thing merely disassembled and sent Sonic spin dashing right into the wall he had ironically smashed Metal Sonic into.

“Let me try! I’ve fought things like this before!” Knuckles charged ahead and started swinging away at the strange monster that merely took every swing like it was nothing. “I’m hitting this thing and it just keeps putting itself together!” Knuckles roared with sweat dripping from his muzzle.

Knuckles finally stopped punching when he ran out of strength, and the monster reassembled itself and fired a laser from its pupil. “Knuckles!” Tails and Amy cried.
“You see? All of your attacks are useless against Zero! His molecular structure allows him to simply ignore your attacks until you wear yourselves out!” Eggman chortled.

“I won’t accept that!” Sonic got back up and leaped into the air, trying his Blue Tornado attack on the malevolent spirit. Zero’s body disassembled and was swept up into the tornado, giving the group of heroes hope.

But just as simply as with the physical attacks, Zero reassembled himself and was left unaffected. “Geez! What’s with this thing?!” Sonic growled, beginning to lose his cool.
“Sonic, we can’t win by just attacking! We’ve gotta think of a strategy!” Tails shouted. “I’m afraid you won’t have the time to think of one! Go Zero!” Eggman ordered.

Zero slowly began floating towards Sonic, its emotionless stare bearing down on the speedy blue hedgehog. “Oh no ya don’t! Tails, Amy, let’s go with our best attack!” Sonic roared.

“You got it Sonic!” Amy immediately went into action, Piko Piko Hammer at the ready, and got into place for the Hail Storm attack. “Well come on Tails, get your tails in here!” Knuckles roared.

Tails hesitated, but eventually gave in to his friends’ wishes and got in place for the attack. “Attack away heroes! Zero won’t even feel it!” Eggman gloated.
Sonic ignored the heckling and attacked over and over as his friends took turns smashing him into the speechless monster. When the attack was completed, Sonic smiled at the totally disassembled mess they had left Zero in. “Let’s see you recover from that!” Sonic panted.

But the entire group was left in shock when Zero once again reassembled his molecules. “I grow weary of watching this. Attack!” Eggman ordered.
The group braced themselves for Zero’s next move, but they let their guard down when Zero didn’t move. “Ha! Zero doesn’t wanna obey you Eggman!” Amy laughed. “Or, Zero wasn’t who he was talking to.” Tails gasped in realization.

Metal Sonic appeared next to them and punched out both Tails and Knuckles in the blink of an eye, but Sonic reacted fast and blocked the renegade robot from attacking Amy too. “Keep your hands off her you robotic imposter.” Sonic growled.

“It’s just as well. Metal Sonic, take care of this won’t you?” Eggman ordered calmly. Metal Sonic ignored Amy and grabbed Sonic and held him tightly in its metallic arms. “Hey, let go!” Sonic growled.

“Get your hands off of him!” Amy swung her hammer and smashed Metal Sonic’s head, but the robot merely ignored the impact. “That’s impossible!” Amy gasped.
Metal Sonic turned his head and fired two small lasers from his eyes, stunning Amy and knocking her on her behind. “Amy!” Sonic struggled to free himself from the robot’s grip, but Metal Sonic was simply too strong to handle for the blue hedgehog.

“Knux, help me out!” Sonic yelled. Knuckles got up and charged, but yet another surprise was in store for the heroes. Metal Sonic closed his eyes, and within a moment, a red doppelganger of the robot appeared and attacked Knuckles.
“What the?!” Knuckles got his fists up and started blocking punches and kicks from the red version of Metal Sonic. “What’s going on here?” Amy asked in shock, still weak from the attack.

“Now you know why I call him Metal Sonic 4.0. He has a self-replicating system installed in his CPU, and he can create as many clones of himself as he may need!” Eggman chortled, “And now Zero, continue with the plan!”

Zero once again moved in, and Sonic desperately struggled to free himself. The molecular structure of Zero spread all over Sonic’s body, sending chills down the blue hedgehog’s spine. Then, slowly, Zero began to seemingly shrink down and vanish into thin air, and then Metal Sonic released him.

“Is that it? If that’s torture, you’re losing your touch Eggman.” Sonic chuckled. But then, Sonic felt a sharp pain in his head, as if someone had grabbed a mace and bashed him head on. The pain began to grow worse, and Sonic fell to his knees as he held his head. “What’s…happening…to me?” Sonic’s eyes began to change color, and with one loud cry of anguish, Sonic fell unconscious.

“Sonic!” the group cried. “What do you do to him?” Amy demanded. Before Eggman could answer, Sonic stood up.
“Sonic, you’re alright!” Amy ran up and glomped the blue hedgehog, but was confused, although not disappointed as to why Sonic had not backed off.

“Amy, back away slowly.” Tails warned. “Why? What’s wrong with me and my Sonic actually sharing a hug?” Amy demanded to know.
“I’m not Sonic…”
Amy’s pupils shrank when she heard the devilish and deranged voice that emitted from Sonic’s body.

She immediately released him, and Sonic’s body stared her down with intensely glowing red eyes. “What are you?” Amy squeaked.
“I am…Zero 3!” the monster cackled. “And now heroes, quiver in fear as the second to last step is completed!” Eggman held up seven gems, and threw them down to the spirit-possessed Sonic.

“The Chaos Emeralds!” the group exclaimed. Zero 3 began glowing in a golden aura, as the powers of Super Sonic were activated by Zero 3.
“Yes! The plan is complete!” Eggman cackled.

But Eggman was not prepared for what he heard next. “Get…out of my head…you freaky whatever-you-are!” Zero had apparently not completely possessed Sonic, as Sonic was still fighting to regain control of his body.

“I can see that this will not go totally as planned. I’m afraid Zero and myself must depart, without you three.” Eggman pressed a button on his console, and the room began to crumble apart.

“He’s activated the Death Egg’s self-destruct mechanism!” Tails exclaimed. “Now Zero, transport us out of here!” Eggman ordered.
“No way Eggman, you’re going down with us!” Knuckles jumped up to turn Eggman’s face into hamburger, but Metal Sonic deflected him, and then reabsorbed his doppelganger. Then in the blink of an eye, Zero 3 had warped away with Eggman and Metal Sonic.

“We’ve gotta get to the X-Tornado!” Tails exclaimed. Getting up from Metal Sonic’s previous attack, Knuckles punched down the door, and they rushed to the shuttle bay where the X-Tornado was resting.
The Death Egg spewed more debris from everywhere, forcing the trio to run faster. “There she is!” Tails exclaimed.

They hopped into the ship and took off. Tails counted down the estimated time of the explosion. “Five-four-three-two-one!” When they looked back, the Death Egg was still in one piece. “Where’s the big kaboom?” Knuckles asked.
“Eggman tricked us into chickening out!” Amy screamed. “But why would Eggman let us live I wonder?” Tails said thoughtfully. “Forget that Tails! Sonic’s in trouble! We gotta help him!” Amy cried.

“Alright alright! We’ll head to my workshop!” Tails piloted the X-Tornado back to Earth, and the trio prepared for what might be their most powerful opponent, but not because he was strong, because in a way, he was their friend. Their new enemy, was indirectly, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Pretty awesome, EP.

WOOOOOOOOW ! I reed this and i could literally get a perfect image in my head on what was happening in the story.Well done EP. But as for the introduction of Zero.you should make it were Eggman found an ancient artifact were he then presses a button and it summons Zero.But other then that everything is perfect.

Done. ^^

I could write my own version...but since there's enough writers already I may just stick with writing the sequel. XP Or at least A sequel.

Well guys, you say you like it, but do we make this chapter official or not? I sent messages to our VAs saying that we're doing it over, so now they're waiting for their lines again. It's up to you whether or not I get on with it.

Yeah. Chapter 1 is EP's.

EP your version is here by made an official part of the story.

Well...I would write a part of it...but I'd be too tempted to write Sonaze in...XP

Also I would describe the setting a little more in detail.

For instance, wasn't the death egg destroyed back on Sonic and Knuckles? I would explain on that a bit...like maybe it's the Death Egg Mach II, and describe perhaps how it's sitting in space instead of just...jumping in. You gotta get the reader into the setting, just not jump in.

Sorry...a little constructive criticism here ^^;

ima write the next parts, i like dramatic openings but cant write them properly

Myst_thefox wrote:ima write the next parts, i like dramatic openings but cant write them properly

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Tails entered the workshop with a bang as the tornado clattered to the ground,its wheels creaking from the effort of carrying the team,the doors sighed open and the plane wheeled inside the grimy,rusting workshop with ease "why do you never clean this dump!" Amy yelled angrily as she paced around the workshop Tails sighed and tinkered with a small computer near the doorway ,knuckles was still in a fighting mood and yelled " well i wanna smash things!" he said as he threw aside a nearby motor with ease, but as he did that,the lights flickered on and off and the door opened...the group was startled and instantly rushed to the door,but instead of there being anything remotely interesting near the door there was a small note stuck on it,the writing was a clear scrawl and read 4 unreadable words in red ink that looked a similar substance to oil, it read " at the town centre"

meanwhile...at the town centre, things weren't exactly going as planned, the place was covered in slash marks where crash was standing,his arm extended sword in one hand, emerald in the other. Dash was standing next to him, his hand was frozen and emitting a smog that looked like the kind of steam that came from a kettle, opposing them was a large green robot that looked like a small 50's kitsch robot but with a sword and a small dome that was so shiny that when it caught the light, it reflected it back with sword-like intensity. Dash froze and created a small ice trail that crash ran on, his sword glowing in the near twilight ,he slid along it until he met the robot and slid right past it,the robot fell apart quickly and expelled a silvery fog as it went , dash sighed an searched the robots collective insides that lay on the floor opposite him
"just look at all the messes you put me in!" dash said slowly as he pulled an emerald out of the shiny dome and stuffed it in Crash's already full hands, Crash chortled ,sat down and stared at the starless sky and sheathed the glowing,pulsating plasma sword .Dash joined him and they breathed in the smoky night air together,as a small red dot came flying out of the sky and ruined their victorious celebration of gaining a chaos emerald.

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Sonic flew with Eggman in his delirious,controlled state as a small creature stood in front of him , the things eyes were open, but it was snoring loudly whilst leaning against a large metal ring and a gate the ring was labelled "Dream-o-matic" Eggman snorted a little ,but proceeded onward but suddenly the thing turned into a large purple cat that seemed familiar,it leapt at sonic and hugged him tight, sonic came to in an instant,dazed and confused "am....bla.....tai....that red idio......." he said before returning to his hypnotic state and the thing turned back into a white fox and closed its eyes, eggman sighed, he would have to make new plans...


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yeah its not good but feel free to edit as you like, but the last part is mine MUHAHAHAHa and all that send any complaints to my large red.....smiley

yeah i write too

Alright let me have a go as an editor...and perhaps that's what I can do to contribute to the re-write and then write the sequal later on...
But I think before we go any further...we need to establish some ground rules.
First of all, I noticed you wrote Sonaze in here. Great, but we need to keep in mind, is this what Stealth originally wanted for Dash Adventures? I like Sonaze but I want to see Sonaze done right.
Now before anyone gets all bent out of shape...let's take a step back and take a deep breath. I suggest before we go any further, that we all establish as a group, who Sonic's main love interest is going to be.
Also, in a forum it's not a democracy, because Stealth King still gets the final say in anything that goes on around here. Even though most of us might want Sonaze, if Stealth doesn't, that means we have to abide by his rules.
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And now for Mau's epic re-write...courtesy of Mau...original lines by Myst

Tails entered the workshop with a loud bang. The tornado clattered to the ground as its wheels creaked from the effort of carrying the team back down to the surface. The doors slid open and the plane was wheeled inside the grimy, rusted out workshop with ease.
"Why do you never clean this dump!?" Amy yelled angrily as she paced around the workshop. Tails sighed and tinkered with a small computer near the doorway. Knuckles was still in a fighting mood and yelled out; "Well I wanna smash things!" He threw aside a nearby motor with ease. As he did such the lights flickered on and off and the door opened. The group was startled and instantly rushed to the door. Instead of there being anything remotely interesting near the door there was a small note stuck on it. The writing was a clear scrawl and read four unreadable words in red ink that looked like a similar substance to oil. "At the town centre" were the words scribbled hastily on the sheet of paper.
Meanwhile at the town centre, things weren't exactly going as planned. The place was covered in slash marks where Crash was standing. His arm extended with a sword in one hand and an emerald in the other. Dash was standing next to him, his hand was frozen and emitted a smog that resembled the kind of steam that rolled out of a kettle. Opposing them was a large green robot that looked like a small 50's kitsch robot with a sword, and a small dome that shined brightly when it caught the light. It reflected it back with sword-like intensity. Dash froze and created a small ice trail that Crash ran on, his sword glowing in the near twilight as he slid along it. He approached the robot and slid right past it. The robot fell apart quickly and expelled a silvery fog, completely dismantled. Dash sighed and searched the robot's collective insides that lay on the floor opposite of him.
"Just look at all the messes you get me in." Dash said slowly as he pulled an emerald out of the shiny dome and stuffed it in Crash's already full hands. Crash chortled and sat down. He stared at the starless sky and sheathed the glowing, pulsating plasma sword. Dash joined him and they breathed in the smoky night air together.
Suddenly a small red dot came flying out of the sky and ruined their victory.

(Some little comments, Dash and Crash shouldn't have any of the Chaos Emeralds since Zero 3 has them all. Might I suggest they be the Sol Emeralds? that could explain Blaze being there. I also didn't know what a "50's kitch" robot is...)

In the mean time, Sonic flew with Eggman in his delirious, controlled state as a small creature stood in front of him. The thing's eyes were open, but it was snoring loudly while leaning against a large metal gate ring. The gate ring was labelled "Dream-o-matic." Eggman snorted a little, but proceeded onward.
Then, suddenly the thing turned into a familar purple she-cat. Whoever it was leapt at sonic and hugged him tight. Sonic came to in an instant, dazed and confused. "....Blaze.....? Amy...Tails where are you....? That red idio....." he said before returning to his hypnotic state. The persona of Blaze turned back into a white fox and closed its eyes. Eggman sighed. He would have to come up with a back-up plan. "Somehow, seeing that cat girl has brought him back to his senses. But how?"

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Now here's the thing, I realize there's a Sonaze moment going on here, but the original intention was SonAmy. Granted, I don't really care for Sonamy, but we should really discuss Sonic's main love interest before we jump to conclusions. I like the idea of Blaze freeing Sonic from his hypnotic state, but not everyone is going to agree with it.

hmmm i suppose i forgot about the no sonaze thing and i much appreciate the criticism, glad of it

a kistch robot is a 50 sci fi sort of thing, like those old tin robots that we make fun of with our iposds and such? google it... and as for the sonaze moment, it was a mishap, i could bother to turn it ot female pink hedgehog but i forgot and cant be bothered and the emeralds? welll i didnt know that the character in question had them all

i appreciate your editssss

That's why I suggested they were the sol emeralds instead. ^^; It would provide an explanation for Blaze being in Sonic's world again.

exelent idea. thanks

You're welcome.
I came up with a new idea, one that I think might solve the dilemma between Sonaze and Sonamy.
EP said that at the end of the original story, that the whole point of this was that Sonic would realize his feelings for Amy.
With that in mind, I came up with an interesting scenario.
Suppose that Nazo captures Blaze and Amy and makes a deal with Sonic. He'll let one of the girls go, but he has to choose between them. Sonic knows he deeply cares about Amy, and he also cares deeply for Blaze who is the first girl to really impress him. He can't decide, because either way it means one of them will die.
So Sonic offers his own life instead. Then Nazo laughs and captures Sonic, but being the evil villian that he is he doesn't keep his promise. But then something deep inside is unlocked from Sonic's heart. The selfless act of giving his own life for the ones he loves enables him to reach the power he needs to either bust up Nazo for good, or fuze into Shadic (not sure where Shadow will come in, but I think while this is happening, Maria's voice will whisper in his ear and thus he does it for her). Power enriched by the heart, and with the example of Christ laying his own life down for us as a twist. So I think the Christians on this forum will appreciate that.
Let me know what you think. I'd be willing to write the scenario myself if you'd like. This not only would allow for Christian values to be expressed in the story, but it means that Sonic would care enough about Amy and Blaze without having to make a choice either way and thus leaves it up in the air without making anything official in Dash Adventures canon as far as love interests are concerned. Think about it, he's willing to lay his life down for both of them, it still goes along with the whole power enriched by the heart theme.
I think it's a fair way to solve the issue, but let's see what the admins think.

Wow... that's... deep.

I go for it. But how could the Dash Crew thing fit?

I'm not sure. I know that in the end it ends up being Nazo versus Shadic...
I'm sure something can be figured out.

exelent, but we should cross that bridge when we get to it in my opinion

(Sigh) Even with that, the problem doesn't go away. The question remains, who does Sonic finally choose? I still wanna wait until we know if Quicksilver's in or not.

Alright, we'll just can anything with Sonaze in it.
I'd like Blaze in still though, but we'll stick with Sonamy.

Spoke to Quicksilver. He hasn't shown any real urgency about having his character in or out. He said it's up to us whether or not we put Quicksilver in or not. Of course, now that his character's changed so much, I dunno if I wanna add him anymore. The design has changed a lot, and he's more like Electro now. The biggest problem is that the character has wings and is able to fly, but who's gonna take the time to sprite that now that Blade is gone?